wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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