My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
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