Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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