we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
