Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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