I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
