i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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