I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
