I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
