Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
