I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
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