oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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