thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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