Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
3pm strippers are depressing
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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