How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
