Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
