It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I party with great urgency now.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
