I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
My vagina just recognized that song.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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