I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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