maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
