we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
40s are totally the cure
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
