she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
