I want to walk on stilts...naked
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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