If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
