I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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