I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
