so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
