Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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