He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
the day after is always just damage control
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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