if only i could text you this smell
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Randomize
