I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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