I think i sorta joined a cult last night
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
