where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
