Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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