Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
