He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
