That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
