idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Dignity is for republicans.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
