Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
