Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
