uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Lo siento on account of my penis...
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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