do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
