hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
