Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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