my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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