I need help removing her.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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