Is it because I queefed?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
