am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
