this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
