K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
