just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I'm lost and stupid without you.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
